


octokittens on the loose what crimes will they commit

by AssyEr



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Gen, Humor, light - Freeform, no beta we die like man, not particulary heavy on the mechanisms, octokittens are dangerous beasts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25833373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssyEr/pseuds/AssyEr
Summary: "(...)and leave only chaos and octokittens in their wake."-kofiyoung.com/the-mechanismsA swarmp of octokittens gets left behind on the planet Andes after a gig. That is not good news.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40
Collections: Writer's Month 2020





	octokittens on the loose what crimes will they commit

**Author's Note:**

> Writen for the writers month prompt "bunny"
> 
> Just have 1400 words of light octokitten fun

“That’s not a bunny,” the owner of the bar said to the boy.

“Well, it’s definitely not a dog” the boy, who did not like to be called boy, answered him.

They were standing behind the bar, looking at the squamous thing climbing the wall opposite them. This one was black with purple stripes, and had already destroyed two tables and somehow disappeared a knife it had been thrown to. Little did they know, this particular creature had evolved for millennium to be able to not only withstand knifes and other weapons used against him, but to actually absorb them and obtain the nutrition they needed, as most times it was the only source of food available.

Besides human flesh. But the two workers didn’t know that, or they would have already left the place. Luckily for them, it was not hungry. Yet.

“It doesn’t even have that much hair!”

The boy, Jeremias, was looking for some box or crate or whatever thing that would seem strong enough to capture the thing that should be considered a bunny, because it was the closest thing one thought of when they saw it. “Not all bunnies have hair. Besides, you saw how far it jumped. Like a bunny”

It was not the only one in the establishment, but it was the only they were aware of that wasn’t already contained.

Joseph, someone who might or might not have acquired the establishment by illegal means, would never call the monstrosities _that_. “Lots of things jump. A fox jumps. A horse jumps.”

“Does that look like a horse to you?” he had found a crate of cider, but it had a hole on it. It wasn’t a big hole, and at first glance it seemed too small for the thing to scape by it, but he wasn’t risking it.

“No, but neither does it look like a bunny”

They had managed to trap another one, gray and orange, on the men’s bathroom. It seemed to not like water, so they weren’t worried about it escaping. Well, the boy wasn’t. Joseph could not be happier if the problem got lost.

No one knew where they had come from. They hadn’t been there last night, when they closed the doors after a particular… eventful night. A band had played some concept album, and all survivors had seemed to enjoy it, and everything had been normal when they locked the doors.

But when Jeremias came, and saw the things just… making home of the place, he had panicked. He called the owner, and did his best to control the situation. He was very proud of having captured one. Joseph was just angry at the disaster they made, with that weird stuff they left behind them as they… _moved_ , that made everything it touched hiss.

Jeremias was about to ask him what on Andes did he think it looked like when a man came through the door. They both recognized him immediately, as they had very logically gotten a crush on him. Gunpowder Tim, he had introduced himself last night, and had a very beautiful hair.

He seemed to be in a hurry. “Has anyone here seen an octokitten?” he asked.

“A what?” one said.

“An octokitten. They are- oh, I see you have one right there. Have you seen one of those, completely grey with orange spots on her back, and around her face? She doesn’t respond to her name, but looks at you like she wants to eat you” He described.

Jeremias, who still thought he had a chance with the guitarist, was quick to respond. “So that’s what they are! Yes, I locked one on the bathroom, it looks like what you described, I-,” before he could offer to show it to him, he already had stomped across the room towards the direction he pointed at.

Not caring about the other two trying to stop him, he opened the door, making clicking noises at the beast inside. He entered, and eventually came out with the monster on his arms, tentacles rolled on his arm and some strands of hair. He was smiling fondly at the creature.

It had a collar now, they noticed. A red one with a small jingle bell, and a tag next to it.

“You captured it” said Joseph, surprised at his courage.

He ignored him. “Do you have something she can eat? She likes knifes and other weapons, but meat would also do” Tim asked.

“We have knifes” said the owner, who was willing to sacrifice all of his utensils as long as he made the beasts disappear.

While he went to the kitchen to grab what he asked, the other two were alone, staring at the thing on the player’s hand. “So, she is yours?” the boy asked, remembering the pronouns he had used.

The master of arms smiled fondly at his pet. “Yes, she’s Abomination, and a little runaway, too. It’s the second time she almost gets left behind after a gig”

When he was a kid, Jeremias had had a worm for a pet. He was not going to judge. “She seems adorable” he said, because it kind of did right them, with the way she licked her owner’s neck with a timid tongue. The skin under then sizzled and bleed a little, but he didn’t seem to mind it.

“Yes, she is” he was talking more to the octokitten than him.

Joseph returned with his hand full of knifes. They must have been all those they had.

“Here you go, sweetness” he told her as he grabbed a knife and, to the eyes of all presents, stabbed the pet. It did not flinch, however, but instead did what could be considered some soft growl, slowly closing its eyes. She seemed very delighted at the action, as her body started to absorb the utensil. “That’s better, isn’t it?” he kissed her head, and the thing let out a pleased sound.

Enjoying very much the picture, but more worried about his establishment, Joseph interrupted the moment. “So, are you going to take the other one, too?” he asked him.

He looked up, confused. “What?” Then remembered the other octokitten behind him. “Oh, no, I don’t know that that well. It’s all yours now”

Tim started walking towards the door. “What? No, you need to help us, how do we get rid of them?”

That made him stop and laugh. “If you find out, please do tell us. The only thing I can say for sure is that they like to be scratched along the tentacles” he said, doing the action on Abomination on his arms. She nuzzled his chest in return.

“What?” Jeremias couldn’t believe him, was he just going to leave him like that?

He looked up to them. “Oh, and I would be careful. If you see one there’s probably other five lurking around, they like to stay in groups” he turned around, getting out of the place. “Good luck!” he wished them, and then he left.

In the end, the octokitten went away on their own, finding better places to live. Tim had been right, and there had been many, many more than two octokittens on the bar. They breed, and multiply, and soon the town had a plague of the beasts.

But, like it was natural for humans, they adapted. Even found new uses for the fuckers, adopting them in their daily life.

At the beginning, most of the octokittens were used as pets. That… did not last long, as no one knew particularly how to contain them, and chaos ensured. But after that, people got cleverer. They found out that they were magnificent to keep away undesired pest, such as giant locusts and devil flyers. Because of that most of them ended up in the countryside, guarding the crops and livestock (they learned not to eat those last, as long as someone threw a knife at them with enough frequency that their needs were met). They also made a weird but efficient medium of transportation, and so they became popular among the rest of the planet’s inhabitants.

Like all posh people, the rich and famous clinged to this trend like their lives depended of it. Breeders of octokittens flourished as a consequence, and soon enough census showed that the octokitten population surpassed the human one.

Until an octokitten, a pet of a famous man, ate its owner, and suddenly no one felt safe around the beasts anymore.

The problem was that they didn’t disappear, but became complete feral, as there was nobody left to feed them. People tried to escape them, flying off the planet on starships, but what they didn’t know is that the creatures had some experience in their blood about being stowaways.

In less than a generation, there was no vestige of human life in the planet.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, i do wish i had a cat, yes i would call her Abomination, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Kudos and comments are like, do you know when its so cold than even your lungs shiver? and then you find that warm spot under the sun? Like that (yes its winter here let me dream of the sun)


End file.
